insanity

Ah, Insanity.

60 days of hating life to come out on the other side a much more attractive person.

So far, so good. The first couple of days brought about a bit of fatigue but not a lot of soreness.

Oh the sorness hit me yesterday morning. It hurt. A lot.

But today is MUCH better. It also helps that today is my first day off in 9 days. That's right, I worked 9 days in a row straight. It actually wasn't that bad. I didn't get really tired until the last two days and that was only towards the end of my shift.

I really shouldn't complain. I'm the one who decided to start Insanity in the middle of a 9 day stretch, lol.

Life's been so good lately. Work has been great, and busy. I have been keeping busy with friends, work, and my own personal projects. It's SO good to be busy. I collapse into bed each night exhausted, but it's the good kind of exhausted. It's the kind of exhausted you get from having a full and wonderful life.

And today, on my day off, I'm going to drink more coffee, relax and work on a few projects.

lindsayallison

the puppers

A little over four years ago, when B was still working security at the mall, a very unfortunate event occured. During the course of one of his shifts, B and one of his fellow officers, Celeste, found a very beautiful, fully grown female boxer tied up outside. She had been abandoned.

It was a hot day in late spring and B and Celeste did not want to leave her outside, but they could not keep her at the mall. B gave Celeste permission to take the dog back to her place and then return back to work. B was unable to have pets at his apartment and so they decided that Celeste would care for the dog until they found the proper owner.

They spoke with their superiors and did all that was required to find the owners. No one ever showed up.

Celeste named her Tyra. A few weeks later, Tyra turned up pregnant.

B and I had already been thinking that we wanted to get a puppy. The apartment we were living in didn't allow pets but we knew that we were going to be moving right around the time the puppies would be born. A couple of months later, we had six adorable puppies.

B went to see the puppies right away, the very day they were born. I unfortunately had to work and so I went a few days later. B said he chose our puppy because when all the other puppies were awake and squirming around, ours was quiet and asleep. When the others were asleep, he was off exploring and making noise. He was the odd ball, the runt. So B chose him.

We had discussed names, but I had told B he could name the puppy as long as it wasn't too outrageous. We were originally set on Tiberius, but once we saw the puppy we knew that that wouldn't do. B picked out the name, "Hal" after the super hero, Hal Jordan aka Green Lantern.

Six weeks later, we brought Hal home. He was so small, we could put him on the bed and cover him with a washcloth. He was so nervous that he stuck close by B for most of the night. I remember that night we had put him in his bed and B said he had to stay there to get used to it. But once we turned off the lights, Hal started crying because he was so nervous. I couldn't let him cry all night and be scared and alone! So I pulled him into the bed with us as soon as B fell asleep.

Hal has been spoiled rotten ever since.

It has been a fantastic four years since the puppy came into our lives. He is a welcome force of chaos and mischief and I wouldn't have him any other way. Today is his 4th birthday and I am on my way to spend the day with him.

I have the best puppy in the world!

lindsayallison

Hal Jordan Mehaffey, July 14, 2007

enthusiasm

I still feel so excited about the opportunities that have presented themselves in front of me. Even if nothing comes of this management thing, I still have this very strong feeling that things are about to change for me in a very big way. I think and feel like everything that I now know I want is really going to come together for me.

Things at the store are great. I'm still having a blast working there and I can see that it's going to continue to be so much fun. Some days I wish that things would slow down just a touch, but at the same time I know that this is job security. Although, I kinda wish people would stop telling me that. Questions/comments I'm asked/told EVERY single day:

Are you always this busy?
How have you guys been doing?
How long have you been open?
I'm so glad you're here!
Yeah, it's busy but it's job security!
I bet this is a fun place to work.
Are you hiring?
I hope this brings downtown back.
Do you know what else is opening around here?

And the list goes on. Most of the time I'm happy to answer the question for the 80,000th time but every once in awhile it gets a bit tedious. So let me set the record straight:

"The new Mast General Store in Columbia is fantastic. It IS a fun place to work, and you'd have to ask management about applying. We have been busy since day one and while it has slowed down some, we are still constantly busy. Things are going well, I don't see us leaving in the foreseeable future. Yes, other places are opening up, but I do not have any further details than that."

With that out of the way, I'm still really excited. And because a very good friend gave me some great advice, I have not been detracted from going after what I want. Yay!

lindsayallison

coming together

Have you ever felt like things started coming together all at once?

First, I got this amazing job working at Mast General Store. I have excellent pay, great coworkers, and even better: I get to have FUN at work! The company provided great training for the great products they sell. I have felt so much happier and so less stressed the past couple of months.

So the less stress at work has caused me to have the mental capacity to do some soul searching. I was able to clear my mind of so much negative energy and I was able to come up with a goal for my life.

I started writing again. Still gonna keep the current project under wraps because I don't know where it's gonna lead to. But the writing is really helping to keep me cathartic. I'm loving it.

Then two days ago happened. I had the day off, but apparently one of the managers resigned. Why she did, I don't know. But now I have this huge opportunity right in front of me. I could apply for and possibly get a management position.

This feels so...right for me. I feel like my body is humming so much with excitement and positive energy that I feel like my hands and feet are almost vibrating. It's a good feeling.

I just pray that this all isn't in my head. How could so many good, right-feeling things come together at once if it wasn't meant to be?

lindsayallison

overwhelmed

I find myself stressing out over things that have not even happened yet.

My biggest goal at the moment is to purchase my own home. I have been a renter before and I find that it is a waste of money. Why spend so much each month on a place to live when at the end of the lease you have nothing to show for it? Why not put that money towards a mortgage? Granted it takes a while, but eventually the residence becomes yours.

Step one of the goal: Save up some money while paying down debt.

Step one is well under way. What I'm stressing about now is if I'll have the money to afford a house. I keep thinking that yes, I have so much money each month that I could put towards a mortgage. And I think, yes, I can afford to have a house!

But then I think, what about the power bill? And the water bill? And the internet bill? And all of those things that I'll need to have to be in a house. Yes, I could get a roommate, but something inside of me wants so desperately to have MY house and be on my own.

Then I get discouraged.

And then I think: Why am I getting discouraged already? Shouldn't I just trust that if it's meant to be and if I work hard and smart towards my goal that it will happen?

If I think about it, it's going to take time to save up the money that I'll need for inspections and closing costs. During that time, I could pay off one of my student loans. That right there will free up $60 a month. That could be half an electric bill. Or it could be a water bill or an internet bill.

I am not giving up. I want my house. I need my house. I am 24 years old and I think I'm a little old to be dependent on others. I want to be self sufficient. I think I can do this.

Then I think: You know what would help supplement your income? Writing a book. And getting it published.

Yeah, I think I'll do that.

lindsayallison

you are here

For the past couple of years, I have really struggled with the feeling of being lost and directionless. I have thought about and talked about what I might want to do with my life. I have searched for meaning and I have wondered what (if anything) I had already accomplished in my short life.

Well, dear friends, in this past week I have finally figured out what it is I want to do with my life. It kinda hit me like a frisbee to the face or a 2 x 4 to the knees. For the time being, there are some things I would rather keep to myself seeing as I don't have all the kinks worked out yet. I've decided that I don't want to create a very specified plan on how to accomplish my goals, because I feel like that has been my downfall in the past. I try to plan too much and then when things don't go exactly right I start to feel like I've failed. I've finally realized that you can't plan out life down to every detail because things happen that you don't plan on.

Anyways, I'm feeling pretty confident about the goals I have in mind. I've already started taking steps to accomplish them.

I can tell you that my biggest goal right now is to buy a house. I have already started working towards this goal by being more careful with my finances and paying down my debt. I'm really excited to start putting some money away. I have a new coworker who sells real estate who is really excited to help me start this process.

She's been great because she understands that I'm new to this process and she wants to make sure I get something I love, something I can afford, and she wants to make sure I do this the right way. She loves working with buyers because she loves getting excited with them as they start looking for a new home.

I really want to pay down my debt. I am 24 years old now. I want to be completely debt free by the time I'm 26. I have less than $12,000 in student loans left and that is the ONLY debt that I have. I do not have a credit card and I never have. I plan to never have a credit card in my name. I have adopted the philosophy that if I need a credit card to purchase something, I can't afford it and therefore don't need it. The only debt I plan to have at age 26 is a mortgage.

So that's my big news. And all I have to say at the moment. :)

lindsayallison