not your ordinary princess: counseling

Thursday, July 15, 2010

counseling

I started counseling today. This is my third attempt. Third time's the charm, right?

I'm hoping that I will be able to get past the feelings of guilt I constantly seem to have. I'm hoping that I will finally get the confidence to do what I want to do and make my own decisions. I want to be independent. I'm twenty-three years old and should be able to make my own decisions and live my own life.

I really like my counselor. She doesn't beat around the bush, she is laid back, and she has a very calming influence. So far, I'm very impressed.

I'm nervous about this, because I haven't had the greatest experience with counseling in the past, but I hope that this will help.

Keeping my fingers crossed!

lindsayallison

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

day off

Well, today is my day off. I had a whole list of things I wanted to get accomplished today. I don't really want to do them now, lol. Actually, the sad thing is, the things on that list that I really don't want to do are the things I should really probably do.

First I need to do some grocery shopping. It's time to hit up Walmart and get some inexpensive things. Then I need to call my insurance to see what kind of coverage I have for counseling. Then I really need to look into some school stuff for this fall.

Now school is something I would like to put off. And in fact, I might do that. Honestly? My heart just isn't into the business management degree anymore. If I'm really honest with myself, I think I might want to switch to an English major. But that would require transferring to a different school. Midlands Tech doesn't offer an associates degree in English.

I feel bad, like I've wasted my time and money on this Business degree. But I really just don't want to do it anymore. I'm not really sure what I want to do with school right now. So I'm thinking, if I am not really sure, why would I continue to waste time and money on a degree I dno't particularly want? Shouldn't I take that semester and work and save up my money and try to figure out what I do want to do?

I think that might be the best option.

Ok, now it's time for a quick smoke break and then I'm off to the grocery store! I am quite excited to see what I can get for like...$25. :)

lindsayallison

What I'm Reading...

Here is the complete honest truth: I have not read a novel in some time. I have a pile of books I want to read. Most are old titles of Karen Hawkins (What did you expect?) that have been collecting dust and diet coke cans for a couple of months.

As I bought three more books today, I realized that I need to actually read these things. It’s important for writers to spend time reading as well. You have to be caught up on what the market is trending, what readers are reading, and what is making and impact and what isn’t.

I have been so bad about this. It’s appalling really.

I used to bring a book with me to work to read during my lunch break. It was great. THEN I got a smart phone and started spending time on that during lunch instead of reading. I think this needs to stop. I really need to spend my time appropriately and reading some of these novels I keep spending money on.

So that’s the new plan then. I am going to pick up that novel I’ve started three times and keep putting down and actually finish it. I think it’s also time that I expand my favorite authors list. I need to read more than two authors on a regular basis I think.

What I'm Working On...

I have been working on lots of different things lately.

January I was working on some old projects that I don't care to spend a lot of time talking about.

As part of a writing group that was formed during last year's National Novel Writing Month, I was part of a writing challenge for the month of February. We came up with a 20K challenge. Yes, that's right. We wanted to write 20,000 words in the little month of February.

I spent most of February working on THE novel, "The Curious Tales of Lost Girls." This novel is a dark piece and it's really hard to get these words out. So the fact that this thing is about half done is quite a huge relief to me at the moment. I have a love/hate relationship with this novel at the moment.

Because it's so dark, that once I completed the 20K, I moved on. I edited/revised an old short story entitled, "Far Away." You can find the short story in its entirety posted on this blog. It's a sappy, romantic piece that I wrote a couple of years ago. I am so pleased with the final product.

After that I moved on to a "novellette" that I started a couple of years ago called "Home for the Holidays." I am happy that it's finished. I am NOT happy with the words it contains. It's currently a piece of crap and so I will let it simmer for a bit before I start the editing/revising process on that one.

Now that March has started, the group has come up with another challenge. Short stories from writing prompts! One per week! I'm currently finishing an old short story (it only had 400 words) while I let my "real" short story for this week form in my head. The first one is another sappy, romantic one about soulmates.

I haven't completely decided on what this new short story is going to be about yet. The writing prompt was "It's 1969, you're 17 and normally quiet and reserved. How did you spend your summer vacation?" I think the title is going to just be "1969". I like the simplicity of it. I know I want to write about a young woman, but I'm not sure where to go beyond that. There was so much going on that year! But what to throw her into?

Character of the Month

Kallista James has been on her own for pretty much her entire life. When Kallista was born, her parents had not been ready for a child. They had been very young and wanted to continue their partying ways, so they did.

At the age of five years old, Kallista met the girl who would become her lifelong best friend, Jade Bennett. It didn’t take long before Jade’s parents realized Kallista’s home life left something to be desired and they took her under their wing. Kallista flourished like never before in the Bennett household. She was close with the whole family, including Jade’s older brother, Chris.

When Kallista was sixteen, her parents were killed in a car accident. In a moment of intense grief, she found comfort with Chris. After sharing an intense kiss, Chris confesses his feelings for her. Before the teenagers can explore their feelings, a fight with his parents sends Chris packing, swearing never to return.

Kallista moved on. She dedicated herself to her schoolwork and to her photography. After graduation, she made a name for herself as a photographer. When she goes home for a summer vacation, she finds herself face to face Chris once more. Now all the feelings she thought she was over have resurfaced and she must find a way to deal with them and him before disaster strikes.