I don't think it's a secret anymore that I'm attempting to be a writer. I guess that's not true. I AM a writer, I'm attempting to become a published author.
For the past two years, I have particiapted in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) and last year was awesome because I met some really great people. Those of us who are really serious about getting into good writing habits have decided to stick around in the "off season" to support each other. Last month we decided to do a mini NaNo and write 20,000 words of fiction. I completed that challenge.
This month we are giving writing prompts each week and then writing a short story based on the prompt we chose. Last week, a girl posted a prompt asking to write a story about a girl's summer vacation during 1969. I loved the idea and immediately started looking for a story to tell. Unfortuantely I couldn't quite come up with anything that I was overly thrilled with. So I decided to ask people who were actually alive in '69, and let the idea simmer in the back of my brain.
I then turned my attentions to a short story I started last year after a good friend of mine issued me a personal challenge. She asked me to write about the perfect relationship or an ideal relationship. It's grown and evolved since then and I now have a working plot for that story. With a new direction, I am excited to go ahead and finally finish that one.
After I finish this older short story, I will start my research for my 1969 piece. My dad gave me the great idea of highlighting the death of the idealistic 60's and the free love movement. It's an idea that is right up my alley and I am super excited to start it in the next couple of days.
After that I am either going to start working on my novel again, or I am going to do some plotting/planning for last year's NaNo piece. I think it could be turned into a relatively good contemporary romance series. I want to flesh out my characters and my fictional town of King's Mountain.
I have so much I want to write. Sometimes I wish I could just think it and it would be on paper because my hands can't keep up with the ideas flowing in my brain.
Health, Peace, & Happiness
lindsayallison
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label writing. Show all posts
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
new year, new look
Well, I decided it was time for another facelift for the blog.
I had decided to expand the colors in my wardrobe this year as I start buying smaller sizes. I wanted more bright colors in my closet. So in keeping with that frame of mind I chose this much brighter, cleaner, and easier to read format. I had tried to make this thing look "cool" and like it had a lot to offer with multiple columns and stuff. But when I sat down to update this tonight I felt like it was just too much. I'm a simple kind of girl (okay, so not really but we can pretend, right?) and so a simple look is what I need.
I think I am going to like this a lot. I hope that it's easy to navigate and that you can really get a feel for who I am and what I'm up to. I think with all the side bars you can easily keep up with what I'm working on as far as reading and writing goes.
I don't have a lot more to update you on than that. New year, new look! I've changed my hair color, I'm losing weight, and I'm powering through with positive thinking!
Until next time!
Health, Peace, & Happiness,
lindsayallison
I had decided to expand the colors in my wardrobe this year as I start buying smaller sizes. I wanted more bright colors in my closet. So in keeping with that frame of mind I chose this much brighter, cleaner, and easier to read format. I had tried to make this thing look "cool" and like it had a lot to offer with multiple columns and stuff. But when I sat down to update this tonight I felt like it was just too much. I'm a simple kind of girl (okay, so not really but we can pretend, right?) and so a simple look is what I need.
I think I am going to like this a lot. I hope that it's easy to navigate and that you can really get a feel for who I am and what I'm up to. I think with all the side bars you can easily keep up with what I'm working on as far as reading and writing goes.
I don't have a lot more to update you on than that. New year, new look! I've changed my hair color, I'm losing weight, and I'm powering through with positive thinking!
Until next time!
Health, Peace, & Happiness,
lindsayallison
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Far Away
The room was rather small for a bar, but it had all the characteristics. The lighting was dim and the air full of the smoke from cigarettes. The room was half full, but the soft murmur of talking made it seem as if only a few people were there.
It was a night like any other at her local karaoke bar. All of the regulars were there, talking and laughing together. It was the weekend and singing over a crackling speaker was their means of relaxing after a stressful week. There was a sense of calm in the slow pace of the bar. Nothing ever changed which brought a feeling of comfort to each of them.
She heard her name called over the low noise of the bar. She looked up at the DJ for confirmation that she had indeed heard her name. She smiled as she walked gracefully to the area at the front of the room that acted as the stage. She subconsciously pressed a hand to her abdomen in an attempt to calm the butterflies in her stomach. It didn’t seem to matter how many times she did this, she always got nervous before she performed.
She had been coming to this karaoke bar for over two years now. Like all of the regulars, she had a lineup of her “normal” songs. They were hers and no one else dared sing them without asking her permission first. It was an unspoken rule that they all followed. But this next song was not one that anyone had ever really shown an interest in singing.
It had been added to her repertoire of songs about three months prior. She had loved this song from the first time she heard it. She felt a deep connection to the song and it had taken a lot of nerve for her to finally try it. So when she finally did try it the nervous energy seemed to drive the feeling of the song. She had been told that despite it originally being sung by a male vocalist with a raspy voice, there was something about a female voice that made the song even more beautiful.
She picked up the mic and made sure to flip the switch so that it was turned on. She gently tapped the top of the mic out of mindless habit to make sure she could hear it over the crappy speakers of the bar. The music started up and the small crowd cheered. This was definitely one of her more popular songs. She took a deep breath and bowed her head, memories and emotions she dared not say aloud filling her entire being. Her eyes closed as the first line flowed from her lips.
“This time, this place, misused, mistakes. Too long, too late…who was I to make you wait? Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there’s just one left. ‘Cause you know, you know, you know…” She sang out in a strong and clear voice. Her thoughts went to the same place they always went to when she heard or sang this song. It went to a boy- a man- who haunted her dreams on more nights than she cared to admit to. She always felt that this song had been written just for them.
“I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you…been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming, you’ll be with me and you’ll never go. I’d stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore.” He was the boy she had loved since her first year of high school. The boy she had given up on and reinvested in over and over again. They had started out as best friends, confiding in each other right from the start. Their connection was based on an instinctive understanding of each other. They had never experienced that kind of bond with anyone else. With a connection so deep, it hadn’t taken long before their feelings for each other started to grow beyond the platonic. But it seemed that no matter what they tried, their timing was never right.
“On my knees, I’ll ask...last chance for one last dance. ‘Cause with you, I’d withstand all of hell to hold your hand. I’d give it all, I’d give for us…give anything but I won’t give up. ‘Cause you know, you know, you know…” They had always kept in touch with each other, even if it had grown more sporadic over the years due to life’s interference. But each time they picked up right where they left off, like nothing had changed. This time though, life had different plans it seemed. He had joined the army two years ago and it had been almost a year since she’d heard from him. She would never give up the hope that they would one day get their timing straight. One day, she hoped, one day.
“I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you…been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming, you’ll be with me and you’ll never go. I’d stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore.” She let herself get lost in the music and lyrics of the song. They consumed her and brought back memories she sometimes wished she could just forget. But tonight she let the feelings of love, loss, and loneliness flow around her like a warm wind. She felt a tingling sensation and she slowly opened her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat and she gasped loudly. She could swear that she was looking right at him. Had she felt those emotions so powerfully that she was now seeing him here? But no, there he was, in person, in flesh, standing on the opposite side of the room. It was him.
The song continued on and she vaguely realized that she was supposed to start singing again. It took her a few seconds to recover from the shock of seeing him. She locked eyes with him and started singing directly to him. This song was for him, after all.
“I wanted, I wanted you to stay. ‘Cause I needed, I need to hear you say…that I love you, I have loved you all along. And I forgive you for being away for far too long. So keep breathing, ‘cause I’m not leaving you anymore. Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go.” She sang the song with more feeling than she ever had before. His presence brought something indescribable out of her, something that made the song more powerful. There was the faintest ghost of a smile on his face as he watched her sing. Her voice cracked, but she kept going. Normally she would be mortified that her voice had faltered, but tonight she didn’t care. She felt dizzy from the conflicting emotions she was feeling. Her head spun with confusion, her heart pounded with anticipation, and her stomach flipped with happiness.
“Keep breathing, ‘cause I’m not leaving you anymore. Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go. Believe it, hold onto me never let me go…Hold onto me and never let me go…Hold onto me and never let me go…”
The song’s music came to a quiet end, but she didn’t move. She stood frozen there, staring at him, staring at her. The bar went completely silent as the rest of the room watched them, confused as to what was playing out before them. All she could hear was the buzz of the ceiling fan and the pounding of her own heart. Time stood still and everyone held their breath. Somehow they knew this was a moment that should not be disrupted.
The smile on his face told her he was impressed with her performance. His hand were tucked in his pockets which she knew meant he was feeling just as nervous as she was.
“What are you doing here?” She finally whispered the question that had been burning at her lips since she had seen him. Still clutching the mic right in front of her mouth her question was made loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Watching my best friend sing, what does it look like?” His hinted smile blossomed into a full blown smirk. His voice was just as she remembered it. It was rich and ran down her spine the way warm honey slid down the back of her throat.
She hadn’t realized that tears were welling up in her eyes until one slipped down her cheek. She tried to force a smile. The mic moved away from her chest and she tried to stop the tears. She set it down next to the DJ and looked back up at him.
“I see you actually listened to me for once,” she said. The catch in her breath and the quiver in her voice betrayed her.
He cocked his head ever so slightly to the side, his smirk fell into a small frown. A silent question on his face. She almost rolled her eyes. Of course he wouldn’t know what she was talking about.
“Well, I don’t see any holes in you and you’re obviously not dead if you’re standing here in front of me,” she said. She seemed to have regained some control of herself because a smirk of her own was forming on her face. “I guess I’ll have to hold off on kicking your ass for now. You know, since you came back from war in one piece.”
He let out a breath he’d been holding and laughed. His laugh was rich and deep. She had always loved his laugh. He looked her up and down, his eyes twinkling with happiness. “What does a soldier have to do to get a hug around here?”
That was all it took. She launched herself at him from across the room. She flung her arms around his neck with a force that lifted her off the ground and almost knocked him over. She held him as tightly as she could. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her as close to him as he could. His breathing was heavy and she knew he was trying to contain his own emotions.
“God, I’ve missed you!” She whispered into his ear so that only he could hear her. She squeezed her eyes closed to keep from crying hysterically.
“I’ve missed you too, baby.” His voice broke slightly and her heart nearly burst. She rarely saw this uncontrolled side of him.
They held each other for a solid minute before they finally pulled away. He set her down on the ground, but kept his arms draped loosely around her waist. Her hands were playing with his hair. They smiled giddily at each other. Time started up again and everyone in the bar was whispering furiously as they watched the scene unfold in front of them.
He brought hands up and gently cupped her face. Her heart started thudding against her ribs and she was certain the whole room could hear it. He tilted her face up ever so slowly. Her eyes slid closed as his lips fell onto hers. The regulars, her friends, burst into cheers, but she hardly heard them.
It was the most gentle and passionate kiss she had ever experienced in her life. She was sure her heart would explode from the sheer intensity of it. When he pulled away she nearly whimpered from the loss of contact. He rested his forehead against hers, a lazy smile lifted one corner of his mouth up. “I love you. I have loved you all along…” he sang softly.
“And I forgive you for being away for far too long.” Her voice was so low that she hoped he had actually heard her. “Are you home for good now?” It was a question she was scared to know the answer to, but she remained hopeful.
He frowned slightly. “No, baby, I have to go back in 30 days.”
Her face fell. “Oh, I see. I guess I was hoping- it’s silly really. Never mind.” She knew she was babbling, but it was the only way to keep herself from crying. She looked down at her feet as her ears and cheeks burned with embarrassment. The crowd seemed to have lost interest in their reunion. Talking had resumed and the next singer had taken the stage. She was glad that no one seemed to be paying her any attention.
He put his finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him. “I have to go back. But I don’t want to go back without finally making you mine.”
Her smile burst from her like the sun’s rays coming through a cloud. “We’ve finally found the right time?”
He chuckled lightly. “I think we have.” He pressed his lips against her forehead and she sighed contentedly. It was finally time.
It was a night like any other at her local karaoke bar. All of the regulars were there, talking and laughing together. It was the weekend and singing over a crackling speaker was their means of relaxing after a stressful week. There was a sense of calm in the slow pace of the bar. Nothing ever changed which brought a feeling of comfort to each of them.
She heard her name called over the low noise of the bar. She looked up at the DJ for confirmation that she had indeed heard her name. She smiled as she walked gracefully to the area at the front of the room that acted as the stage. She subconsciously pressed a hand to her abdomen in an attempt to calm the butterflies in her stomach. It didn’t seem to matter how many times she did this, she always got nervous before she performed.
She had been coming to this karaoke bar for over two years now. Like all of the regulars, she had a lineup of her “normal” songs. They were hers and no one else dared sing them without asking her permission first. It was an unspoken rule that they all followed. But this next song was not one that anyone had ever really shown an interest in singing.
It had been added to her repertoire of songs about three months prior. She had loved this song from the first time she heard it. She felt a deep connection to the song and it had taken a lot of nerve for her to finally try it. So when she finally did try it the nervous energy seemed to drive the feeling of the song. She had been told that despite it originally being sung by a male vocalist with a raspy voice, there was something about a female voice that made the song even more beautiful.
She picked up the mic and made sure to flip the switch so that it was turned on. She gently tapped the top of the mic out of mindless habit to make sure she could hear it over the crappy speakers of the bar. The music started up and the small crowd cheered. This was definitely one of her more popular songs. She took a deep breath and bowed her head, memories and emotions she dared not say aloud filling her entire being. Her eyes closed as the first line flowed from her lips.
“This time, this place, misused, mistakes. Too long, too late…who was I to make you wait? Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there’s just one left. ‘Cause you know, you know, you know…” She sang out in a strong and clear voice. Her thoughts went to the same place they always went to when she heard or sang this song. It went to a boy- a man- who haunted her dreams on more nights than she cared to admit to. She always felt that this song had been written just for them.
“I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you…been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming, you’ll be with me and you’ll never go. I’d stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore.” He was the boy she had loved since her first year of high school. The boy she had given up on and reinvested in over and over again. They had started out as best friends, confiding in each other right from the start. Their connection was based on an instinctive understanding of each other. They had never experienced that kind of bond with anyone else. With a connection so deep, it hadn’t taken long before their feelings for each other started to grow beyond the platonic. But it seemed that no matter what they tried, their timing was never right.
“On my knees, I’ll ask...last chance for one last dance. ‘Cause with you, I’d withstand all of hell to hold your hand. I’d give it all, I’d give for us…give anything but I won’t give up. ‘Cause you know, you know, you know…” They had always kept in touch with each other, even if it had grown more sporadic over the years due to life’s interference. But each time they picked up right where they left off, like nothing had changed. This time though, life had different plans it seemed. He had joined the army two years ago and it had been almost a year since she’d heard from him. She would never give up the hope that they would one day get their timing straight. One day, she hoped, one day.
“I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you…been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming, you’ll be with me and you’ll never go. I’d stop breathing if I don’t see you anymore.” She let herself get lost in the music and lyrics of the song. They consumed her and brought back memories she sometimes wished she could just forget. But tonight she let the feelings of love, loss, and loneliness flow around her like a warm wind. She felt a tingling sensation and she slowly opened her eyes. Her heart skipped a beat and she gasped loudly. She could swear that she was looking right at him. Had she felt those emotions so powerfully that she was now seeing him here? But no, there he was, in person, in flesh, standing on the opposite side of the room. It was him.
The song continued on and she vaguely realized that she was supposed to start singing again. It took her a few seconds to recover from the shock of seeing him. She locked eyes with him and started singing directly to him. This song was for him, after all.
“I wanted, I wanted you to stay. ‘Cause I needed, I need to hear you say…that I love you, I have loved you all along. And I forgive you for being away for far too long. So keep breathing, ‘cause I’m not leaving you anymore. Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go.” She sang the song with more feeling than she ever had before. His presence brought something indescribable out of her, something that made the song more powerful. There was the faintest ghost of a smile on his face as he watched her sing. Her voice cracked, but she kept going. Normally she would be mortified that her voice had faltered, but tonight she didn’t care. She felt dizzy from the conflicting emotions she was feeling. Her head spun with confusion, her heart pounded with anticipation, and her stomach flipped with happiness.
“Keep breathing, ‘cause I’m not leaving you anymore. Believe it, hold onto me and never let me go. Believe it, hold onto me never let me go…Hold onto me and never let me go…Hold onto me and never let me go…”
The song’s music came to a quiet end, but she didn’t move. She stood frozen there, staring at him, staring at her. The bar went completely silent as the rest of the room watched them, confused as to what was playing out before them. All she could hear was the buzz of the ceiling fan and the pounding of her own heart. Time stood still and everyone held their breath. Somehow they knew this was a moment that should not be disrupted.
The smile on his face told her he was impressed with her performance. His hand were tucked in his pockets which she knew meant he was feeling just as nervous as she was.
“What are you doing here?” She finally whispered the question that had been burning at her lips since she had seen him. Still clutching the mic right in front of her mouth her question was made loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Watching my best friend sing, what does it look like?” His hinted smile blossomed into a full blown smirk. His voice was just as she remembered it. It was rich and ran down her spine the way warm honey slid down the back of her throat.
She hadn’t realized that tears were welling up in her eyes until one slipped down her cheek. She tried to force a smile. The mic moved away from her chest and she tried to stop the tears. She set it down next to the DJ and looked back up at him.
“I see you actually listened to me for once,” she said. The catch in her breath and the quiver in her voice betrayed her.
He cocked his head ever so slightly to the side, his smirk fell into a small frown. A silent question on his face. She almost rolled her eyes. Of course he wouldn’t know what she was talking about.
“Well, I don’t see any holes in you and you’re obviously not dead if you’re standing here in front of me,” she said. She seemed to have regained some control of herself because a smirk of her own was forming on her face. “I guess I’ll have to hold off on kicking your ass for now. You know, since you came back from war in one piece.”
He let out a breath he’d been holding and laughed. His laugh was rich and deep. She had always loved his laugh. He looked her up and down, his eyes twinkling with happiness. “What does a soldier have to do to get a hug around here?”
That was all it took. She launched herself at him from across the room. She flung her arms around his neck with a force that lifted her off the ground and almost knocked him over. She held him as tightly as she could. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her as close to him as he could. His breathing was heavy and she knew he was trying to contain his own emotions.
“God, I’ve missed you!” She whispered into his ear so that only he could hear her. She squeezed her eyes closed to keep from crying hysterically.
“I’ve missed you too, baby.” His voice broke slightly and her heart nearly burst. She rarely saw this uncontrolled side of him.
They held each other for a solid minute before they finally pulled away. He set her down on the ground, but kept his arms draped loosely around her waist. Her hands were playing with his hair. They smiled giddily at each other. Time started up again and everyone in the bar was whispering furiously as they watched the scene unfold in front of them.
He brought hands up and gently cupped her face. Her heart started thudding against her ribs and she was certain the whole room could hear it. He tilted her face up ever so slowly. Her eyes slid closed as his lips fell onto hers. The regulars, her friends, burst into cheers, but she hardly heard them.
It was the most gentle and passionate kiss she had ever experienced in her life. She was sure her heart would explode from the sheer intensity of it. When he pulled away she nearly whimpered from the loss of contact. He rested his forehead against hers, a lazy smile lifted one corner of his mouth up. “I love you. I have loved you all along…” he sang softly.
“And I forgive you for being away for far too long.” Her voice was so low that she hoped he had actually heard her. “Are you home for good now?” It was a question she was scared to know the answer to, but she remained hopeful.
He frowned slightly. “No, baby, I have to go back in 30 days.”
Her face fell. “Oh, I see. I guess I was hoping- it’s silly really. Never mind.” She knew she was babbling, but it was the only way to keep herself from crying. She looked down at her feet as her ears and cheeks burned with embarrassment. The crowd seemed to have lost interest in their reunion. Talking had resumed and the next singer had taken the stage. She was glad that no one seemed to be paying her any attention.
He put his finger under her chin and forced her to look up at him. “I have to go back. But I don’t want to go back without finally making you mine.”
Her smile burst from her like the sun’s rays coming through a cloud. “We’ve finally found the right time?”
He chuckled lightly. “I think we have.” He pressed his lips against her forehead and she sighed contentedly. It was finally time.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Fly
**Please note: I did NOT come up with most of these lines. I took lines from songs on my current mixed CD and smushed them together in a weird poem/song/hybrid thingy. Some words were changed, some were taken away and some were added. Credits at the end.**
Fly
Get ready for it, I came to win.
I came to fly, fly away…
It’s been a long time since I came around,
But this time I’m not leaving without you.
I shouldn’t miss you, but I’d rather die –
You’re the only one who really knew me at all.
So I become alive in a time of pain and fear.
Spent my whole life looking for that somebody
Who knew where I kept my better side.
Yeah, you’ve got a piece of me.
And try as I may, I could never explain –
How we’re forever united here somehow.
And how wonderful life is, now you’re in the world.
So lying underneath those stormy skies,
You pulled on me like the moon pulls on the tide.
You said, “Sit back down where you belong.
“Lights will guide you home and I will try to fix you.”
Away I flew and dreamed of paradise.
Trying to forgive you for abandoning me.
The tears come streaming down my face.
I cried my eyes out for days upon days.
Drowning in a river of my own tears,
Every tear became a waterfall –
A broken promise and a broken heart.
Life goes on, could it be worse?
I hear the criticism loud and clear:
I am lost, I am vain.
I pray but I’m still an angel away.
It gets so heavy, this burden placed upon me.
And there’s nothing left here to remind me.
I can’t erase, so I’ll take the blame.
For what’s being said between your heart and mine.
Come the night, you’re only what I want.
Come the day you could be my confidant –
But I follow the night.
There’s a chance I could take:
I could follow the day.
When will I begin to live again?
I will never be the same…
I close my eyes and run away in my sleep.
I wished for so much, but if flew from my reach.
In the night, the stormy night
The Wheel breaks the butterfly.
Every time I close my eyes.
I’ll try my best, but even if I don’t succeed
I’ll know just what I’m worth.
But if I never try then I’ll never know.
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
And this could be paradise.
I can’t quit now, this can’t be right!
In the night, the stormy night
I know the sun must set to rise.
The troubles start coming and I start rising
And this is how I know that the time is near.
I am not one who can easily hide
For I represent an entire generation.
The time is now.
Take a look at me now,
For one day I’ll fly away.
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes.
I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive.
And I will win, thrive, soar higher and higher.
‘Cause I am not a word and I am not a line.
I am not a girl that could ever be defined.
Credits:
Fly by Nicki Minaj & Rihanna
Paradise & Fix You by Coldplay
One Day I'll Fly Away & Your Song from "Moulin Rouge"
You and I by Lady Gaga
When You Say Nothing At All, Baby Now That I've Found You, & Dimming of the Day by Alison Krauss
Without You by David Guetta & Usher
Against All Odds by Phil Collins
My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
Fly
Get ready for it, I came to win.
I came to fly, fly away…
It’s been a long time since I came around,
But this time I’m not leaving without you.
I shouldn’t miss you, but I’d rather die –
You’re the only one who really knew me at all.
So I become alive in a time of pain and fear.
Spent my whole life looking for that somebody
Who knew where I kept my better side.
Yeah, you’ve got a piece of me.
And try as I may, I could never explain –
How we’re forever united here somehow.
And how wonderful life is, now you’re in the world.
So lying underneath those stormy skies,
You pulled on me like the moon pulls on the tide.
You said, “Sit back down where you belong.
“Lights will guide you home and I will try to fix you.”
Away I flew and dreamed of paradise.
Trying to forgive you for abandoning me.
The tears come streaming down my face.
I cried my eyes out for days upon days.
Drowning in a river of my own tears,
Every tear became a waterfall –
A broken promise and a broken heart.
Life goes on, could it be worse?
I hear the criticism loud and clear:
I am lost, I am vain.
I pray but I’m still an angel away.
It gets so heavy, this burden placed upon me.
And there’s nothing left here to remind me.
I can’t erase, so I’ll take the blame.
For what’s being said between your heart and mine.
Come the night, you’re only what I want.
Come the day you could be my confidant –
But I follow the night.
There’s a chance I could take:
I could follow the day.
When will I begin to live again?
I will never be the same…
I close my eyes and run away in my sleep.
I wished for so much, but if flew from my reach.
In the night, the stormy night
The Wheel breaks the butterfly.
Every time I close my eyes.
I’ll try my best, but even if I don’t succeed
I’ll know just what I’m worth.
But if I never try then I’ll never know.
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
And this could be paradise.
I can’t quit now, this can’t be right!
In the night, the stormy night
I know the sun must set to rise.
The troubles start coming and I start rising
And this is how I know that the time is near.
I am not one who can easily hide
For I represent an entire generation.
The time is now.
Take a look at me now,
For one day I’ll fly away.
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes.
I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive.
And I will win, thrive, soar higher and higher.
‘Cause I am not a word and I am not a line.
I am not a girl that could ever be defined.
Credits:
Fly by Nicki Minaj & Rihanna
Paradise & Fix You by Coldplay
One Day I'll Fly Away & Your Song from "Moulin Rouge"
You and I by Lady Gaga
When You Say Nothing At All, Baby Now That I've Found You, & Dimming of the Day by Alison Krauss
Without You by David Guetta & Usher
Against All Odds by Phil Collins
My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
updates!
Well, the Insanity thing didn't last. Mainly because I got terrible shin splints and had to stop the program completely. I decided not to be completely stupid and try it again (while it is called Insanity, I am not insane enough to try it again expecting not to get splints again). I've been off any kind of exercise since then.
But today I have cleared out a space in my room to bring my exercise bike in. I'm really excited. I love my bike and I am excited to finally have a place in my room for it.
In other news, NaNoWriMo is starting up in less than two weeks. It's been great chatting with the writing buddies I made last year (my first year) while we all figure out what we're going to attempt to write this November.
For those of you who don't know, November is National Novel Writing Month. It's a challenge (affectionately known as NaNoWriMo) to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I did my first NaNo last year and won! I finished the challenge! It was crazy and fun and I can't wait for November to start up again so that I can do it all over! (Please see sidebar for my new novel.)
Lovin' my job still. I have a great set of coworkers and I work for a great company. Nothin' more to say about that.
Well, it's time for me to be off again...I need to do some more planning for my novel.
lindsayallison
But today I have cleared out a space in my room to bring my exercise bike in. I'm really excited. I love my bike and I am excited to finally have a place in my room for it.
In other news, NaNoWriMo is starting up in less than two weeks. It's been great chatting with the writing buddies I made last year (my first year) while we all figure out what we're going to attempt to write this November.
For those of you who don't know, November is National Novel Writing Month. It's a challenge (affectionately known as NaNoWriMo) to write 50,000 words in 30 days. I did my first NaNo last year and won! I finished the challenge! It was crazy and fun and I can't wait for November to start up again so that I can do it all over! (Please see sidebar for my new novel.)
Lovin' my job still. I have a great set of coworkers and I work for a great company. Nothin' more to say about that.
Well, it's time for me to be off again...I need to do some more planning for my novel.
lindsayallison
Thursday, June 16, 2011
coming together
Have you ever felt like things started coming together all at once?
First, I got this amazing job working at Mast General Store. I have excellent pay, great coworkers, and even better: I get to have FUN at work! The company provided great training for the great products they sell. I have felt so much happier and so less stressed the past couple of months.
So the less stress at work has caused me to have the mental capacity to do some soul searching. I was able to clear my mind of so much negative energy and I was able to come up with a goal for my life.
I started writing again. Still gonna keep the current project under wraps because I don't know where it's gonna lead to. But the writing is really helping to keep me cathartic. I'm loving it.
Then two days ago happened. I had the day off, but apparently one of the managers resigned. Why she did, I don't know. But now I have this huge opportunity right in front of me. I could apply for and possibly get a management position.
This feels so...right for me. I feel like my body is humming so much with excitement and positive energy that I feel like my hands and feet are almost vibrating. It's a good feeling.
I just pray that this all isn't in my head. How could so many good, right-feeling things come together at once if it wasn't meant to be?
lindsayallison
First, I got this amazing job working at Mast General Store. I have excellent pay, great coworkers, and even better: I get to have FUN at work! The company provided great training for the great products they sell. I have felt so much happier and so less stressed the past couple of months.
So the less stress at work has caused me to have the mental capacity to do some soul searching. I was able to clear my mind of so much negative energy and I was able to come up with a goal for my life.
I started writing again. Still gonna keep the current project under wraps because I don't know where it's gonna lead to. But the writing is really helping to keep me cathartic. I'm loving it.
Then two days ago happened. I had the day off, but apparently one of the managers resigned. Why she did, I don't know. But now I have this huge opportunity right in front of me. I could apply for and possibly get a management position.
This feels so...right for me. I feel like my body is humming so much with excitement and positive energy that I feel like my hands and feet are almost vibrating. It's a good feeling.
I just pray that this all isn't in my head. How could so many good, right-feeling things come together at once if it wasn't meant to be?
lindsayallison
Thursday, June 9, 2011
overwhelmed
I find myself stressing out over things that have not even happened yet.
My biggest goal at the moment is to purchase my own home. I have been a renter before and I find that it is a waste of money. Why spend so much each month on a place to live when at the end of the lease you have nothing to show for it? Why not put that money towards a mortgage? Granted it takes a while, but eventually the residence becomes yours.
Step one of the goal: Save up some money while paying down debt.
Step one is well under way. What I'm stressing about now is if I'll have the money to afford a house. I keep thinking that yes, I have so much money each month that I could put towards a mortgage. And I think, yes, I can afford to have a house!
But then I think, what about the power bill? And the water bill? And the internet bill? And all of those things that I'll need to have to be in a house. Yes, I could get a roommate, but something inside of me wants so desperately to have MY house and be on my own.
Then I get discouraged.
And then I think: Why am I getting discouraged already? Shouldn't I just trust that if it's meant to be and if I work hard and smart towards my goal that it will happen?
If I think about it, it's going to take time to save up the money that I'll need for inspections and closing costs. During that time, I could pay off one of my student loans. That right there will free up $60 a month. That could be half an electric bill. Or it could be a water bill or an internet bill.
I am not giving up. I want my house. I need my house. I am 24 years old and I think I'm a little old to be dependent on others. I want to be self sufficient. I think I can do this.
Then I think: You know what would help supplement your income? Writing a book. And getting it published.
Yeah, I think I'll do that.
lindsayallison
My biggest goal at the moment is to purchase my own home. I have been a renter before and I find that it is a waste of money. Why spend so much each month on a place to live when at the end of the lease you have nothing to show for it? Why not put that money towards a mortgage? Granted it takes a while, but eventually the residence becomes yours.
Step one of the goal: Save up some money while paying down debt.
Step one is well under way. What I'm stressing about now is if I'll have the money to afford a house. I keep thinking that yes, I have so much money each month that I could put towards a mortgage. And I think, yes, I can afford to have a house!
But then I think, what about the power bill? And the water bill? And the internet bill? And all of those things that I'll need to have to be in a house. Yes, I could get a roommate, but something inside of me wants so desperately to have MY house and be on my own.
Then I get discouraged.
And then I think: Why am I getting discouraged already? Shouldn't I just trust that if it's meant to be and if I work hard and smart towards my goal that it will happen?
If I think about it, it's going to take time to save up the money that I'll need for inspections and closing costs. During that time, I could pay off one of my student loans. That right there will free up $60 a month. That could be half an electric bill. Or it could be a water bill or an internet bill.
I am not giving up. I want my house. I need my house. I am 24 years old and I think I'm a little old to be dependent on others. I want to be self sufficient. I think I can do this.
Then I think: You know what would help supplement your income? Writing a book. And getting it published.
Yeah, I think I'll do that.
lindsayallison
Thursday, February 17, 2011
blissful sunbathing
I am beyond ecstatic that I finally have a day off. I'm so just mentally and spiritually worn down because of my job and the stress it's providing in my life. I'm happy to have a day off to regroup before going back on Saturday.
Tomorrow is supposed to be up in the 70s. I do think that this beautiful, sunny weather calls for some sunbathing. I don't think the middle of February is too early to start on a tan, do you?
I plan to sit out on the back porch with a book and some music. Or some paper, pen and some music. Whatever I end up doing, there will be music, sun, fresh air, and quite possibly something iced from Starbucks.
On a completely UNRELATED note, I have to wonder about something. My mom and stepdad have a huge flat screen tv with HD and all that jazz. I'm sitting here watching an episode of "Bones" that I have previously seen on a "regular" tv. I don't see what the huge fuss is about with this HD crap. While it does seem more life-like, it also makes the camera work look like a motor-skills challenged two year old shot the episode instead of a slightly less challenged forty-two year old.
*sigh* Ok, I do believe it's time for me to put this post to rest. I need to go find something to do...or something to eat.
lindsayallison
Tomorrow is supposed to be up in the 70s. I do think that this beautiful, sunny weather calls for some sunbathing. I don't think the middle of February is too early to start on a tan, do you?
I plan to sit out on the back porch with a book and some music. Or some paper, pen and some music. Whatever I end up doing, there will be music, sun, fresh air, and quite possibly something iced from Starbucks.
On a completely UNRELATED note, I have to wonder about something. My mom and stepdad have a huge flat screen tv with HD and all that jazz. I'm sitting here watching an episode of "Bones" that I have previously seen on a "regular" tv. I don't see what the huge fuss is about with this HD crap. While it does seem more life-like, it also makes the camera work look like a motor-skills challenged two year old shot the episode instead of a slightly less challenged forty-two year old.
*sigh* Ok, I do believe it's time for me to put this post to rest. I need to go find something to do...or something to eat.
lindsayallison
Monday, February 14, 2011
happy valentines
Well, it's Valentine's Day. It's not a particularly favorite holiday of mine, but I suppose I don't hate it. Actually, I treated myself to some Ghirardelli chocolates today, so it's been a pretty good day.
I feel weird, not having posted anything the past several days, but I have found that life is quite mundane at the moment and I don't have a lot to write about. I know this may sound bad, but I find that it's quite comforting to not have any chaos going on in my life at the moment.
One of my best friends, Kaitlyn, came up for a visit at the end of last week. It was nice to see her since I hadn't seen her in a couple of months.
I'm feeling a bit like a slacker. I have to send out a belated birthday card and a belated Valentines card to some friends. All I have to do is slap a stamp on an envelope and stick it in the mailbox, but I can't seem to bring myself to get up off my butt and look for a stamp...
Maybe tomorrow.
lindsayallison
I feel weird, not having posted anything the past several days, but I have found that life is quite mundane at the moment and I don't have a lot to write about. I know this may sound bad, but I find that it's quite comforting to not have any chaos going on in my life at the moment.
One of my best friends, Kaitlyn, came up for a visit at the end of last week. It was nice to see her since I hadn't seen her in a couple of months.
I'm feeling a bit like a slacker. I have to send out a belated birthday card and a belated Valentines card to some friends. All I have to do is slap a stamp on an envelope and stick it in the mailbox, but I can't seem to bring myself to get up off my butt and look for a stamp...
Maybe tomorrow.
lindsayallison
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
long days and bad movies
What a long ass day.
Work was fairly dead and so it just seemed to drag on and on and on and on and on...I was more than ecstatic when the other girl came in to take over at 4. I was ready to get out of there.
I then spent the afternoon cleaning up my room and organizing it. It looks so good right now. I'm quite pleased with myself. Now I just have to finish up a bit more laundry and I'll be completely done with my cleaning chores.
Now I'm sitting here, trying to figure out what I'm going to do next. I'm hungry, I think. I also am considering doing a little writing because I've been struck with inspiration lately. I think it'll help if I stop watching bad movies. And when I say bad, I mean baaad. "Center Stage" is completely awful...I mean...just awful. So why am I watching it?
Well, I'm off for a midnight snack, a bit more laundry and maybe some writing. I have a good copule of hours before it's bedtime!
lindsayallison
Work was fairly dead and so it just seemed to drag on and on and on and on and on...I was more than ecstatic when the other girl came in to take over at 4. I was ready to get out of there.
I then spent the afternoon cleaning up my room and organizing it. It looks so good right now. I'm quite pleased with myself. Now I just have to finish up a bit more laundry and I'll be completely done with my cleaning chores.
Now I'm sitting here, trying to figure out what I'm going to do next. I'm hungry, I think. I also am considering doing a little writing because I've been struck with inspiration lately. I think it'll help if I stop watching bad movies. And when I say bad, I mean baaad. "Center Stage" is completely awful...I mean...just awful. So why am I watching it?
Well, I'm off for a midnight snack, a bit more laundry and maybe some writing. I have a good copule of hours before it's bedtime!
lindsayallison
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I'm Back!
I'm back everyone!
I had honestly forgotten that I had started this blog, silly of me really. I had gotten so busy with work and life that I just never even saw the "Blogspot" link under my favorites...even though I look at them every day.
What's going on with me?
To put it simply: A LOT!
First, I'm losing weight at a rapid pace and I am loving it. I love how I feel about myself, I love how my clothes fit. I can't wait until I can fit into some of the clothes I wore in high school. I'm so close and I know if I continue keeping an eye on my portion control, I'll be there before I know it.
Second, I've dedicated 2011 to writing! That's right! I'm working on my own pieces, I'm doing more reading, and I have taken up journaling again. Well, I've taken up journaling again - ish. I write when I need to, but it's not every day. I'm hoping that I can bring the blog up to an almost daily basis. I mean how cool would it be to have a small following of friends here on my blog?
I've decided to really put myself into this. I invested in some filing items of sorts. Just a place to keep all my different stories and ideas until they are all finished to perfection. I can keep all of my notes and ideas about one story in one place so I don't have to constantly go digging for them amongst a dozen notebooks and binders.
Third, I've recently (within the past two months or so) started an actual relationship with my older brother. I have an older half brother by my dad and despite the fact that I'm almost 24 years old, he and I have never had a relationship. Well, I found him on facebook and friended him. We've had a fairly regular contact ever since and it's been nice. We don't always see eye to eye, but we do have some common ground. It's been fantastic feeling like someone's younger sister for the first time in my life.
My holidays were fantastic. The best I've had in a few years. I was beyond ecstatic about the gifts I both gave and received. I was shocked and pleased that everyone behaved themselves this year. It was definitely a wonderful time.
I was saddened at the loss of my great-grandmother, Margaret "Memere" Gallant on the 28th of December. She was 98 and had lived a good, long life and was ready to go home. I was fortunate enough that when my mom and I went up to Boston in November, she remembered us long enough for us to say goodbye. We both knew that we'd probably never see her again.
This new year has done wonders for me. I'm reading a fantastic book, "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey so that I can learn better financial responsibility. I am doing something that I love and I've been trying desperately to have a better outlook on life in general (especially my dumb ass job - ok, so I'm still working on that one). I feel better this year and it's been amazing.
I will do anything to make sure this feeling lasts.
lindsayallison
I had honestly forgotten that I had started this blog, silly of me really. I had gotten so busy with work and life that I just never even saw the "Blogspot" link under my favorites...even though I look at them every day.
What's going on with me?
To put it simply: A LOT!
First, I'm losing weight at a rapid pace and I am loving it. I love how I feel about myself, I love how my clothes fit. I can't wait until I can fit into some of the clothes I wore in high school. I'm so close and I know if I continue keeping an eye on my portion control, I'll be there before I know it.
Second, I've dedicated 2011 to writing! That's right! I'm working on my own pieces, I'm doing more reading, and I have taken up journaling again. Well, I've taken up journaling again - ish. I write when I need to, but it's not every day. I'm hoping that I can bring the blog up to an almost daily basis. I mean how cool would it be to have a small following of friends here on my blog?
I've decided to really put myself into this. I invested in some filing items of sorts. Just a place to keep all my different stories and ideas until they are all finished to perfection. I can keep all of my notes and ideas about one story in one place so I don't have to constantly go digging for them amongst a dozen notebooks and binders.
Third, I've recently (within the past two months or so) started an actual relationship with my older brother. I have an older half brother by my dad and despite the fact that I'm almost 24 years old, he and I have never had a relationship. Well, I found him on facebook and friended him. We've had a fairly regular contact ever since and it's been nice. We don't always see eye to eye, but we do have some common ground. It's been fantastic feeling like someone's younger sister for the first time in my life.
My holidays were fantastic. The best I've had in a few years. I was beyond ecstatic about the gifts I both gave and received. I was shocked and pleased that everyone behaved themselves this year. It was definitely a wonderful time.
I was saddened at the loss of my great-grandmother, Margaret "Memere" Gallant on the 28th of December. She was 98 and had lived a good, long life and was ready to go home. I was fortunate enough that when my mom and I went up to Boston in November, she remembered us long enough for us to say goodbye. We both knew that we'd probably never see her again.
This new year has done wonders for me. I'm reading a fantastic book, "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey so that I can learn better financial responsibility. I am doing something that I love and I've been trying desperately to have a better outlook on life in general (especially my dumb ass job - ok, so I'm still working on that one). I feel better this year and it's been amazing.
I will do anything to make sure this feeling lasts.
lindsayallison
Sunday, July 18, 2010
nothing
I haven't written in a few days because I've been so incredibly busy with work. And I thought today that I should write a new blog. But I don't know what to write about!
So I have nothing.
lindsayallison
So I have nothing.
lindsayallison
Monday, July 5, 2010
a new start
I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to start writing a diary or a journal or a blog. I start so many of these things and then end up abandoning them. Well, I'm hoping that this time it will stick.
A good friend told me I should start blogging again because it seemed to her that it had proven to be a good stress reliever for me. I think she might be right so I'm gonna give a shot again.
I'm trying to turn over a new leaf these days. First thing I need to do is set some boundaries with the people in my life. I have a hard time telling people "no" and it has caused for some serious heartache on my end. Well, I'm making the honest effort to stop that. Hopefully I can start to regain some semblence of control in my life.
Next thing I need to do is figure out what I want to do with school. I've struggled so much because it seems that I change my mind about what I want to do with my life every other week. I'm currently enrolled in a local technical college for an associates in business management. It's something I'm good at, but I have definitely been dragging my feet in getting this degree. Just because you're good at soemthing doesn't mean your heart is in it. And my heart just isn't in business anymore.
I'm honestly thinking I want to be more creative in my life. I've rediscovered painting lately and I have loved every minute of it. I've also decided to take up writing again. It's something I have ALWAYS loved and had a great passion for. I think I might even have a decent idea for a story/book. All I have to do now is write it.
I hope this is a good start to turning my life around. Right now though? It's almost 2:45 in the morning and I desperately need some sleep. I worked the entire holiday weekend and I'm finally getting my break. Believe me, I'm going to enjoy this.
Good night all!
lindsayallison
A good friend told me I should start blogging again because it seemed to her that it had proven to be a good stress reliever for me. I think she might be right so I'm gonna give a shot again.
I'm trying to turn over a new leaf these days. First thing I need to do is set some boundaries with the people in my life. I have a hard time telling people "no" and it has caused for some serious heartache on my end. Well, I'm making the honest effort to stop that. Hopefully I can start to regain some semblence of control in my life.
Next thing I need to do is figure out what I want to do with school. I've struggled so much because it seems that I change my mind about what I want to do with my life every other week. I'm currently enrolled in a local technical college for an associates in business management. It's something I'm good at, but I have definitely been dragging my feet in getting this degree. Just because you're good at soemthing doesn't mean your heart is in it. And my heart just isn't in business anymore.
I'm honestly thinking I want to be more creative in my life. I've rediscovered painting lately and I have loved every minute of it. I've also decided to take up writing again. It's something I have ALWAYS loved and had a great passion for. I think I might even have a decent idea for a story/book. All I have to do now is write it.
I hope this is a good start to turning my life around. Right now though? It's almost 2:45 in the morning and I desperately need some sleep. I worked the entire holiday weekend and I'm finally getting my break. Believe me, I'm going to enjoy this.
Good night all!
lindsayallison
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