progress not perfection

Tyra always tells her models, "Progress not perfection."

I need to keep that in mind myself. I need to remember that my heaviest weigh in was 225lbs at 5'7". And that's just the highest number I ever saw. Who KNOWS what my actual heaviest weight was.

I am currently sitting at 186lbs. For those of you keeping track that's about 40lbs lost so far. I had lost some weight on my own about a year and a half ago when I just stopped eating out so much and just tried to cut back on portions a little.

I have lost 11 pounds since I started really trying to change my lifestyle. I have fallen off the wagon a little bit with my eating, but I plan to go grocery shopping tomorrow and get all my healthy foods.

My goal is to get to 150lbs and/or a size 10. Once I get there, I will reassess and see if I can safely go smaller. I have some curves to me that will definitely hinder me getting to be stick thin, lol.

I can and will do this. I just have to remember that I need PROGRESS not PERFECTION.

Three years ago, I was close to a size 18. Three years ago, I couldn't get my belt ends to meet, never mind put it on. Three years ago, I couldn't wrap a towel around myself and be covered. Three years ago, I couldn't get my class ring on my finger. Three years ago, I weighed close to 230lbs.

Today, I am a size 12 and even those are getting a little loose. Today I not only wear my belt, and I'm about to move it down another notch. Today, I can wear a towel and it will stay on. Today, I am wearing my class ring. Today, I am 186lbs.

Just keep reminding yourself of where you've been, how far you've come, and then look at where you want to go. Whether your destination is just a few feet away from you or it's that tiny dot on the horizon just remember that the destination IS IN SIGHT.

lindsayallison

consistency

It's been such a weird week for me.

Sunday night ended with devastating news about a very dear friend of mine who suddenly passed away. The funeral service is tomorrow afternoon. I think that once I say goodbye, I'll be able to move on and get back to the happy place I've been in recently.

I am having a problem with consistency. It's something I've struggled with for my entire life. I want to do something but I never seem to follow through on it.

The biggest thing I'm concerned about is my weight loss. I have lost (to date) 45 pounds since I was at my heaviest. I know that a big part of this was not eating out so much, and learning to use portion control. My weight loss has plateaued recently and I know that that has a tendency to happen. What I'm concerned about is I can't seem to stop eating. I'm eating out again too much and I'm eating too much in general.

I had started doing yoga. I loved it. I loved how I felt after I did it. But I can't find the motivation to do it this past week. I know that if I go and get food while I'm at work that I'm just spending money I shouldn't be and that it's just unheatlhy. But I can't seem to stop myself. My justification for doing it is stronger than any justification I can think of to not do it.

It's been a very big struggle for me.

In other news, Felicia is in town this weekend and I'm super excited. We're making plans for me to go down and visit in her in Panama City in a couple of weeks. I'm really looking forward to getting out of town for a few days.

lindsayallison

sweet yoga

I've taken up yoga again. I'm quite excited about strengthening my body and improving my posture and breathing. I feel like this is the right kind of exercise for me because I don't particularly like regular weight lifting or cardio. Well, I do like riding my little bike machine, but I'm so excited about yoga.

My current goal is a small one. I'm trying to get under a certain number weight-wise (only about 2 more pounds to go) and I'm trying to fit a little more loosely into my size 12 jeans. Once I hit that goal, I'll set another one. I don't want to set huge goals and then get completely overwhelmed.

To date, I have lost 44 pounds from when I was my heaviest. I'm really excited about the progress I've made and I'm excited to keep it moving.

It's been a rough start. I stretched muscles I didn't even know I had. I'm actually about to go start another session. I really need to stick with this. It's so important to me.

lindsayallison

I'm Back!

I'm back everyone!

I had honestly forgotten that I had started this blog, silly of me really. I had gotten so busy with work and life that I just never even saw the "Blogspot" link under my favorites...even though I look at them every day.

What's going on with me?

To put it simply: A LOT!

First, I'm losing weight at a rapid pace and I am loving it. I love how I feel about myself, I love how my clothes fit. I can't wait until I can fit into some of the clothes I wore in high school. I'm so close and I know if I continue keeping an eye on my portion control, I'll be there before I know it.

Second, I've dedicated 2011 to writing! That's right! I'm working on my own pieces, I'm doing more reading, and I have taken up journaling again. Well, I've taken up journaling again - ish. I write when I need to, but it's not every day. I'm hoping that I can bring the blog up to an almost daily basis. I mean how cool would it be to have a small following of friends here on my blog?

I've decided to really put myself into this. I invested in some filing items of sorts. Just a place to keep all my different stories and ideas until they are all finished to perfection. I can keep all of my notes and ideas about one story in one place so I don't have to constantly go digging for them amongst a dozen notebooks and binders.

Third, I've recently (within the past two months or so) started an actual relationship with my older brother. I have an older half brother by my dad and despite the fact that I'm almost 24 years old, he and I have never had a relationship. Well, I found him on facebook and friended him. We've had a fairly regular contact ever since and it's been nice. We don't always see eye to eye, but we do have some common ground. It's been fantastic feeling like someone's younger sister for the first time in my life.

My holidays were fantastic. The best I've had in a few years. I was beyond ecstatic about the gifts I both gave and received. I was shocked and pleased that everyone behaved themselves this year. It was definitely a wonderful time.

I was saddened at the loss of my great-grandmother, Margaret "Memere" Gallant on the 28th of December. She was 98 and had lived a good, long life and was ready to go home. I was fortunate enough that when my mom and I went up to Boston in November, she remembered us long enough for us to say goodbye. We both knew that we'd probably never see her again.

This new year has done wonders for me. I'm reading a fantastic book, "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey so that I can learn better financial responsibility. I am doing something that I love and I've been trying desperately to have a better outlook on life in general (especially my dumb ass job - ok, so I'm still working on that one). I feel better this year and it's been amazing.

I will do anything to make sure this feeling lasts.

lindsayallison