overwhelmed

I find myself stressing out over things that have not even happened yet.

My biggest goal at the moment is to purchase my own home. I have been a renter before and I find that it is a waste of money. Why spend so much each month on a place to live when at the end of the lease you have nothing to show for it? Why not put that money towards a mortgage? Granted it takes a while, but eventually the residence becomes yours.

Step one of the goal: Save up some money while paying down debt.

Step one is well under way. What I'm stressing about now is if I'll have the money to afford a house. I keep thinking that yes, I have so much money each month that I could put towards a mortgage. And I think, yes, I can afford to have a house!

But then I think, what about the power bill? And the water bill? And the internet bill? And all of those things that I'll need to have to be in a house. Yes, I could get a roommate, but something inside of me wants so desperately to have MY house and be on my own.

Then I get discouraged.

And then I think: Why am I getting discouraged already? Shouldn't I just trust that if it's meant to be and if I work hard and smart towards my goal that it will happen?

If I think about it, it's going to take time to save up the money that I'll need for inspections and closing costs. During that time, I could pay off one of my student loans. That right there will free up $60 a month. That could be half an electric bill. Or it could be a water bill or an internet bill.

I am not giving up. I want my house. I need my house. I am 24 years old and I think I'm a little old to be dependent on others. I want to be self sufficient. I think I can do this.

Then I think: You know what would help supplement your income? Writing a book. And getting it published.

Yeah, I think I'll do that.

lindsayallison