overwhelmed

I find myself stressing out over things that have not even happened yet.

My biggest goal at the moment is to purchase my own home. I have been a renter before and I find that it is a waste of money. Why spend so much each month on a place to live when at the end of the lease you have nothing to show for it? Why not put that money towards a mortgage? Granted it takes a while, but eventually the residence becomes yours.

Step one of the goal: Save up some money while paying down debt.

Step one is well under way. What I'm stressing about now is if I'll have the money to afford a house. I keep thinking that yes, I have so much money each month that I could put towards a mortgage. And I think, yes, I can afford to have a house!

But then I think, what about the power bill? And the water bill? And the internet bill? And all of those things that I'll need to have to be in a house. Yes, I could get a roommate, but something inside of me wants so desperately to have MY house and be on my own.

Then I get discouraged.

And then I think: Why am I getting discouraged already? Shouldn't I just trust that if it's meant to be and if I work hard and smart towards my goal that it will happen?

If I think about it, it's going to take time to save up the money that I'll need for inspections and closing costs. During that time, I could pay off one of my student loans. That right there will free up $60 a month. That could be half an electric bill. Or it could be a water bill or an internet bill.

I am not giving up. I want my house. I need my house. I am 24 years old and I think I'm a little old to be dependent on others. I want to be self sufficient. I think I can do this.

Then I think: You know what would help supplement your income? Writing a book. And getting it published.

Yeah, I think I'll do that.

lindsayallison

you are here

For the past couple of years, I have really struggled with the feeling of being lost and directionless. I have thought about and talked about what I might want to do with my life. I have searched for meaning and I have wondered what (if anything) I had already accomplished in my short life.

Well, dear friends, in this past week I have finally figured out what it is I want to do with my life. It kinda hit me like a frisbee to the face or a 2 x 4 to the knees. For the time being, there are some things I would rather keep to myself seeing as I don't have all the kinks worked out yet. I've decided that I don't want to create a very specified plan on how to accomplish my goals, because I feel like that has been my downfall in the past. I try to plan too much and then when things don't go exactly right I start to feel like I've failed. I've finally realized that you can't plan out life down to every detail because things happen that you don't plan on.

Anyways, I'm feeling pretty confident about the goals I have in mind. I've already started taking steps to accomplish them.

I can tell you that my biggest goal right now is to buy a house. I have already started working towards this goal by being more careful with my finances and paying down my debt. I'm really excited to start putting some money away. I have a new coworker who sells real estate who is really excited to help me start this process.

She's been great because she understands that I'm new to this process and she wants to make sure I get something I love, something I can afford, and she wants to make sure I do this the right way. She loves working with buyers because she loves getting excited with them as they start looking for a new home.

I really want to pay down my debt. I am 24 years old now. I want to be completely debt free by the time I'm 26. I have less than $12,000 in student loans left and that is the ONLY debt that I have. I do not have a credit card and I never have. I plan to never have a credit card in my name. I have adopted the philosophy that if I need a credit card to purchase something, I can't afford it and therefore don't need it. The only debt I plan to have at age 26 is a mortgage.

So that's my big news. And all I have to say at the moment. :)

lindsayallison