overwhelmed

I find myself stressing out over things that have not even happened yet.

My biggest goal at the moment is to purchase my own home. I have been a renter before and I find that it is a waste of money. Why spend so much each month on a place to live when at the end of the lease you have nothing to show for it? Why not put that money towards a mortgage? Granted it takes a while, but eventually the residence becomes yours.

Step one of the goal: Save up some money while paying down debt.

Step one is well under way. What I'm stressing about now is if I'll have the money to afford a house. I keep thinking that yes, I have so much money each month that I could put towards a mortgage. And I think, yes, I can afford to have a house!

But then I think, what about the power bill? And the water bill? And the internet bill? And all of those things that I'll need to have to be in a house. Yes, I could get a roommate, but something inside of me wants so desperately to have MY house and be on my own.

Then I get discouraged.

And then I think: Why am I getting discouraged already? Shouldn't I just trust that if it's meant to be and if I work hard and smart towards my goal that it will happen?

If I think about it, it's going to take time to save up the money that I'll need for inspections and closing costs. During that time, I could pay off one of my student loans. That right there will free up $60 a month. That could be half an electric bill. Or it could be a water bill or an internet bill.

I am not giving up. I want my house. I need my house. I am 24 years old and I think I'm a little old to be dependent on others. I want to be self sufficient. I think I can do this.

Then I think: You know what would help supplement your income? Writing a book. And getting it published.

Yeah, I think I'll do that.

lindsayallison

you are here

For the past couple of years, I have really struggled with the feeling of being lost and directionless. I have thought about and talked about what I might want to do with my life. I have searched for meaning and I have wondered what (if anything) I had already accomplished in my short life.

Well, dear friends, in this past week I have finally figured out what it is I want to do with my life. It kinda hit me like a frisbee to the face or a 2 x 4 to the knees. For the time being, there are some things I would rather keep to myself seeing as I don't have all the kinks worked out yet. I've decided that I don't want to create a very specified plan on how to accomplish my goals, because I feel like that has been my downfall in the past. I try to plan too much and then when things don't go exactly right I start to feel like I've failed. I've finally realized that you can't plan out life down to every detail because things happen that you don't plan on.

Anyways, I'm feeling pretty confident about the goals I have in mind. I've already started taking steps to accomplish them.

I can tell you that my biggest goal right now is to buy a house. I have already started working towards this goal by being more careful with my finances and paying down my debt. I'm really excited to start putting some money away. I have a new coworker who sells real estate who is really excited to help me start this process.

She's been great because she understands that I'm new to this process and she wants to make sure I get something I love, something I can afford, and she wants to make sure I do this the right way. She loves working with buyers because she loves getting excited with them as they start looking for a new home.

I really want to pay down my debt. I am 24 years old now. I want to be completely debt free by the time I'm 26. I have less than $12,000 in student loans left and that is the ONLY debt that I have. I do not have a credit card and I never have. I plan to never have a credit card in my name. I have adopted the philosophy that if I need a credit card to purchase something, I can't afford it and therefore don't need it. The only debt I plan to have at age 26 is a mortgage.

So that's my big news. And all I have to say at the moment. :)

lindsayallison

workin' hard

I have been so busy the past few days! My new job is totally awesome! It's been pretty interesting being on the construction site where the store will be. Things are really coming together and we're hoping that the bottom floor will be ready very soon for us to put the finishing touches on fixtures and what not. The top floor still has quite a ways to go.

I got my first battle injury today! We were sliding two by fours down a chute we have and the girl sliding them down lost control of one just as I was turning around to grab the next board. I wasn't expecting it and so it slid right into my left knee and rebounded on my right one. I have a technicolor bruise the size of a half dollar (maybe even bigger!) on my left knee. It's all kinds of blue and purple, lol! But I don't mind. It only hurts if I put pressure directly on the spot.

I'm also very actively working towards trying to unload some of my things. My very good friend, Melissa, had a great idea. Sell the crap you don't need and start actively paying down your debt! She went through her things and found a bunch of stuff she wasn't using. Then she talked to her friends who donated items for her to sell so she could keep the profit to pay off some bills. She actually did very well at the sale.

So many people wanted to donate so much stuff that we're going to have another sale at the end of the month and this time, I will have some stuff at the sale too. I want to make a few extra dollars, but more importantly I feel like it's time to lighten the load.

I am holding on to so much stuff and most of it is just trinkets from the past ten or fifteen years that really don't mean anything. Sure, there are items that have sentimental value, but most of what I have is just crap.

My next big goal is to buy a house. I'm very excited about this idea. I really don't want to rent again because I feel like it's a waste of money. Anyways, when I finally get to the point where I can buy a house, I want to be able to start over. I want to have only the possessions that mean something to me and then I want to rebuild a home from the ground up.

The best way to do that is to throw away, sell, or donate the things I'm not using or are just plain garbage. This plan is really killing two birds with one stone because before I can buy a house, I want to be 100% debt free. And with this sale, that will give me a boost to getting there!

I'm really excited about this new direction I have. I've been drifting for so long and now I have a goal, a plan, and a hell of a lot of motivation to get there!

lindsayallison